“I’ve Had It With Reality”
I’ve had it with reality; it’s simply not for me
So instead I’ll trade it in for what I’d like to see
Diets are forbidden now ‘cause everyone is thin
And broccoli’s discovered to be the latest carcinogen
Hot tubs and Jacuzzis replace bathtubs that are small
And all I want is always on sale at my favorite mall
I’m completely irresistible to the men that I desire
And money quickly grows on trees so I can kick back and retire
PMS does not exist and checkout lines are short
Every nasty muttered slight has just the right retort
Celebrities and heads of state line up to shake my hand
And on the beach my bathing suit never fills with sand
We all now get what we deserve because life is just and fair
And cheesecake’s now a health food
there’s no more bad days for my hair
It rains only when I want it to; jet planes are all on time
And now I’m never at a loss for the perfect word or rhyme
My son obeys my orders and he always cleans his room
Housework simply does itself I never need to touch a broom
I’ve had it with reality; I quit as of today
So here is where you’ll find me if I can keep the truth away