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I've had it with reality
It's simply not for me
So instead I'll trade it in
For what I'd like to see

Diets are forbidden now
Cause everyone is thin
And broccoli's discovered to be
The latest carcinogen

Hot tubs and Jacuzzis
Replace bathtubs that are small
And all I want is always on sale
At my favorite mall.

I'm completely irresistible
To the men that I desire
And money quickly grows on trees
So I can kick back and retire

PMS does not exist
And checkout lines are short
Every nasty muttered slight
Has just the right retort

Celebrities and heads of state
Line up to shake my hand
And on the beach my bathing suit
Never fills with sand

We all now get what we deserve
Because life is just and fair
And cheesecake's now a health food
There's no more bad days for my hair

It rains only when I want it to
Jet planes are all on time
And now I'm never at a loss
For the perfect word or rhyme

My son obeys my orders
And he always cleans his room
Housework simply does itself
I never need to touch a broom

I've had it with reality
I quit as of today
So here is where you'll find me
If I can keep the truth away